talking trash can

{ Thursday, February 26, 2009 }

{ its been awhile }

Ja ja ich weiss.. schon lange habe ich hier nicht geschrieben.
Ich habe mich ein bisschen beschaftigt
Meine schwester und ich haben auch eine neue LJ geoffnet
Hier ist das link.
Das heisst funfundzwanzig auf Deustch.

Mein Leben hat schon verandert.

{ Wednesday, January 21, 2009 }

{ Bugs }

I've just realized something.
Sorry don't mean anything in our world today.

"Sorry I broke the vase mom.."
She'll whack him no matter
"Sorry I broke your heart"
He kills himself anyway
"Sorry I didn't see you there.."
She walks past you like you never existed

When will Sorry mean something?
When will people use it when they really have to?

No, don't say it.

{ Wednesday, December 24, 2008 }

{ The introduction of Mr. X }

Mr X says things I want to hear
Mr X said a lot of things
Mr X should think of what he said

Mr X thinks I've got the answers
Mr X doesn't know that I haven't got a clue
Mr X continues searching

Now Mr X, what are you really looking for?
Do you think you can walk in and out of my life easily?
Well whatever your doing Mr X, you have a merry fucking Christmas.

{ Thursday, December 04, 2008 }

{ looking out }

Sometimes I think I'm blind
Blind to the fact that his standing right there in front of me
And there I was, zooming past him.
Its weird when you've looked all over the place and get frustrated at yourself for not being able to get what you've been looking for,
When what you've been looking for is right in front of you.

3 years and I'm throwing it all away.
Truth is, I'm not throwing it away like an old, ripped t-shirt
(i'd use it for art or something)
I'm just putting it aside because I'm afraid.
I'm afraid to commit myself and then regret
I want to learn from my past mistakes, but what about avoiding these mistakes?
It's like we're given Mistake Coupons and now mine is running out.
I want to plunge in and take the risk, but how far will I go?

I'm proud of him, I really am.
His turned out to be someone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with.
But should I be so sure of myself?
Or maybe we're just people from a different world.
Only allowed to communicate through a common medium
Us not being able to hold each other and kiss each other because we really want to
Am I not allowed this relationship?

One thing for sure is, his right.
I did learn something from this.
I learned that we can't all be selfish.
I know I can never get everything that I want,
Only a certain fragment of what I wish for, but never a full one.
And I think I can live with that.

{ Saturday, November 08, 2008 }

{ stabs in the heart }

No I dont believe you
When you say dont come around here no more
I wont remind you
You said we wouldnt be apart
No I dont believe you
When you say you dont need me anymore
So dont pretend to
Not love me at all

{ Sunday, November 02, 2008 }

{ This is it people }

2 more weeks
2 more fucking weeks
and then im free

Today's my birthday but it doesnt feel right
Im having weird feelings in my chest
Like my heart is beating too fast
Could it be the sun?

Tomorrow is A levels but i dont think i'm ready
We can never be ready
There's always something we need to do

why am i like this?

{ Monday, October 27, 2008 }

{ hopeless words }

Ich will mit dem gehen, den ich liebe.
Ich will nicht ausrechnen, was es kostet.
Ich will nicht nachdenken, ob es gut ist.
Ich will nicht wissen, ob er mich liebt
Ich will mit ihm gehen, den ich liebe.

it is hard for me to say these words
what I'm feeling..
they don't tie in with what I've been saying to you

but I promise you now
We will never be together again.