talking trash can

Woah. I watched a movie twice in one night.
Take that, TWICE!
Well i dont regret any part of it cos its my favourite of e favourite movie.
Even the notebook has been defeated for my huge desire and interest for this movie.
I declare it my Movie of the Year, beside Sepet and High School Musical.
Not that I favour high school musical that much, but..
we're breaking freee...

Oh right! Physics practical tomorrow.
I have no idea how i should prepare but iv read my practical book from cover to cover.
Dont think that'll help but whatever.
Today was dedicated to physics and partially to maths.
But tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow will still be physics.
Except chem and maths tuition.
I have so many topics left for physics.
And i havent started on Geog and SS.
Know what sod it. Typing it out wont help.

Anyway, i really feel for sam's grandad's condition and how sam's feeling.
Not just because she's my sepet-est best friend and people thinks bff should feel e same way about everything,
But its also because iv gone through e same thing once. If not twice, for a different person.
The memory is still vivid in my ever-growing mind.
That night where my cousins, my sister and I couldnt sleep at the hospital lobby,
And how we joined multiple chairs to make our own bed (ok, irrelevant.)
How we talked about my late grandad's character and how fun it was when he was still healthy.
Then the time when my older cousin called us to come up and see him.
Says its an emergency or some sort.
We went up not able to predict what was going to happen as we rushed to e lifts,
Went to the ICU and saw practically the whole family crowding around the bed.
The look on all of their faces.
My 10-year old feeling back then.
What are they doing? Why's everyone keeping quiet?
The sound of the machine when it went beep beep beeep...
The loud cry of my uncle bob.
Seeing my grandfather's eyes shut for the last time.
And everything became a blur as the tears start clouding my eyes.

6 years later, I was forced to experience the same thing.
Now with my auntie.
But this time, some things changed.
My knowledge on her condition.
My mind taking in as much infos as possible.
Painting the hospital room filled with machines and wires, in my head.
Trying my best to feel the pain she's going through but failed anyway.
How my dad taught us to say the prayers in our heart,
Praying she'll get better, not knowing if she can.
When she was gone, all I could remember was how they wrapped her up,
Cleaning her, carrying her body like it was made of glass.
When they called us to kiss her, I tried my best to summon up my courage to go and kiss her for the last time,
But I didnt. I sat there and watched my family plant their kisses on her forehead,
Careful with each and every step.
How I regretted what I had not done.

I felt it, my feelings never changed.
I realised how any of us can leave our loved ones at any time.
How Iv tried my best to live my life to the fullest.
But how exactly do I do that?
It still intrigues me.

You left me thinking of the worst.