recall-ing

went out by myself the other day, you know just to get a feel of being independent.
i always respect people who are by themselves.
it really shows alot about them,
they don't care about cliques or groups or friends or even cults!
i mean, they are brave enough to be alone.

So there i was, being confident about myself,
dining alone, shopping alone, walking alone
and there i was also, thinking that other people have the same mentality as i do
but obviously they do not.
Cos whenever i walk pass a bunch of people, they give me weird stares
So at 1st i thought, ok, maybe i didnt zip my skirt, or my button popped open,
so i go to the toilet and check, and NOPE, nothing out of the ordinary.
Went out again and walk and the same thing happens.
i did the experiment again while eating, by myself, and what do you know,
those alien-staring-at-me-game started again.
so then i wonder, in the society we freaking live in today,
Don't people ever feel like they should take time off from their little cliques and groups to appreciate life, alone?
Must they stick to their little friends like super glue?

so this isnt just the issue here.
somehow i feel i'm being mistreated whenever i go out alone.
besides those weird stares, somehow people just walk through me.
Its like im an invinsible wall.
Just because i look like a dickhead doesn't mean im a target.
waiters at restaurants tend to attend to big groups 1st, which i may add are difficult for them to handle, compared to a single table set aside just for me and my little backpack,
But noo, they want to show their waiter-ing skills and choose to make me wait when it'll only take them less than 5 minutes to take my order.
menschen sind seltsam!

oh well.
i thought the world is a safe place for me.


guess its just not when i'm around